October 5, 1998

Dilip Bobb

The videotaped testimony to the Grand Jury by President Clinton may have been unprecedented, but it could also set a trend whereby politicians and officials can be held accountable for their actions. It's high time such practices were introduced in India. Aap ki Adalat could become a 24-hour channel, with the person in the dock being grilled by a proper jury. Here are some prime time candidates.

J.Y. Lele, Secretary of the Board of Control for Cricket in India.

Grand Jury: Mr Lele, what is your explanation for the fiasco which led to the humiliation of the Indian cricket team in Toronto?

Lele: (taking a sip of Pepsi) I can't remember the exact details. I'm trying to be truthful here, but there was so much going on at that time ... the crisis in Kuala Lumpur, the pressure from other independent councils, my memory is not what it was when I first took up this job.

Home Minister L.K. Advani

Grand Jury: Mr Advani, on what grounds are you so insistent on toppling the Rabri Devi government in Bihar?

Advani: This is my definition of improper centre-state relations. She has entered the exalted office through the back door. Just because she is on intimate terms with Laloo does not give her the right to ruin, I mean run the state. There are 356 reasons why I am convinced her government should go.

Congress President Sonia Gandhi

Grand Jury: Mrs Gandhi, why have you introduced your 10 commandments which are even stricter than the original ones given to Moses?

Sonia: I am against improper dress. We need a uniform code. I am also against certain intoxicants which can drive people in high places to commit crimes and misdemeanours. I am also convinced that people with small families stick together. Look at the Clintons. Finally, the ethics committee will hear complaints of wrong-doing and hold in-camera hearings. We may start with J.B. Patnaik who is accused of protecting a molester.

Information and Broadcasting Minister Sushma Swaraj

Grand Jury: Ms Swaraj, what are your reasons for introducing curbs on technology and communications?

Swaraj: As anyone who watched the testimony on TV will know, there's already been criticism of direct to home services. It corrupts the young, gives them the wrong ideas and distorts their moral values. I also find it shocking that people can use taxpayers' money to indulge in phone sex which is why I have ordered a ban on such services. We need to protect our children from western ideas and influences which is why I have ensured that my deputy has no power to take decisions.

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