BY DILIP BOBB

Ram vs Rome

With the Congress led by Sitaram Kesri demanding to be led by Sonia Gandhi, it's pretty clear where all this is leading to; a face-off where the contest will be Rome versus Ram. Or, in horticultural terms, the lotus against the shrinking violet. If Sonia does agree to enter the Coliseum, it will, literally, be the mother of all battles. But what does the ordinary voter think of all these she-nanigans? Here's a snap poll on the snap poll.

Pollster: You will soon be asked to elect the fourth government in two years ...

Voter: Really. I didn't realise we had voted so many times.

Pollster: Actually, you didn't. Deve Gowda wasn't elected by you ...

Voter: Who's he?

Pollster: He was prime minister for a few months. That was before Vajpayee who was prime minister for a few days. And now, you have another prime minister ..., sort of.

Voter: You mean we had all these prime ministers and I didn't even vote for them?

Pollster: You could soon have Sonia Gandhi as prime minister.

Voter: You mean even that could happen? This must be part of that globalisation everyone is complaining about, having these foreigners taking over ... What are the other options?

Pollster: The Congress could join the United Front Government minus Mr Gujral.

Voter: Who's he ...?

Pollster: On the other hand, the BJP could form the government by getting Congressmen to join them. However, if Sonia refuses, the Congress could still support the UF, if they dump the DMK and allow Sitaram Kesri to become PM.

Voter: Who's he?

Pollster: He's the Congress president, and he's never fought an election either. But the final word will rest with George.

Voter: Let me guess. He must be the President

Pollster: He's Sonia's secretary, which makes him the most important man in the country.

Voter: We people in the villages must be really out of touch. It was much simpler in the old days. We were only allowed to vote for Mrs Gandhi.

Pollster: That could happen if George convinces Kesri to convince Gujral. Then they can all convince Mrs Gandhi, who will have to convince ...

Voter: Let the President decide. This is too confusing.

© Living Media India Ltd