Chennai: Out there in the perimeter, there are cops. Out here, we are booked, immaculate.
With due apologies to Jim Morrison, that could well be Chennai's new anthem. The city police has played spoilsport to the southern metro's nightlife. Commissioner of Police K. Muthukkaruppan has issued notice to all discotheques and nightclubs to down shutters. "It's against Indian culture," he says.

PAUSED: No more jiving at Hell Freezes over

Perhaps he's just reinforcing a trend that the AIADMK Government began. Immediately after it assumed power in May, Hell Freezes Over (HFO), Chennai's most popular disco, owned by Dayanithi Maran, son of Union Commerce Minister Murasoli Maran, was forced to close down. It reopened after a couple of months and the city's nascent nightlife was gathering steam when the commissioner imposed a blanket ban on discos on November 22.

"It's sheer stupidity," says Rajesh Ravindran, marketing manager and party hopper. "How can the police decide that unwinding after a day's hard work is indecent?" But Muthukkaruppan says it's a point of law: "All these discos were being run under the licence for cultural dances ... Half-dressed men and women dancing is definitely not our culture."

So there's an eerie silence on the once-pounding dance floors of discos like HFO, EC 41 and Klub 53. Gatsby, the disco in Park Sheraton, allowed its club members to shake a leg even after the ban, but that stopped after it received a notice from the police. Already the stringent excise rules have ensured that Chennai has hardly any pubs or bars besides those attached to expensive hotels. There the prohibitive prices are a downer. The discos may reopen some time, but the moral policing has forced those in the entertainment business to think more than twice.

-Arun Ram

THE GOLDEN PUMPKIN

For a man who has been described as the nda's prop, Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee is gradually becoming genial Mr Malaprop, happily blundering his way into history. At the India-EU summit press conference, the prime minister was asked if the euro would be made a reserve currency for India. Ol' ABV nodded and agreed that Indian tourists should not "skip Europe while going to the US". When an official nudged him, Vajpayee came up with a correction, "The question can be considered and a decision taken." The decision has already been taken; the euro is already a reserve currency. Somebody forgot to e-mail the PMO.

Later in the week, Vajpayee forgot Foreign Minister Jaswant Singh's name in the Lok Sabha, the second such incident. Jaswant isn't alone, he has the hapless Mr Lepcha, one of the prime minister's security officials, for company. Vajpayee frequently addresses him as "Nepali". At a function in Lucknow in late October, he called Vishnukant Shastri, Uttar Pradesh's governor, Ravi Shastri. In the old days, bjpwallahs will tell you, Atalji often referred to pet hate K.N. Govindacharya as Dronacharya. Maybe it's all part of a cosmic charade that mere mortals are not supposed to understand.

SIGNPOSTS

DIED: N.C. Sippy, 75. He produced Anand, Padosan and Guide, among others.

ABSOLVED: Suspended Air-India Managing Director Michael Mascarenhas, of corruption charges, by the CBI.

AWARDED: The British Film Institute Award, to Asif Kapadia, expatriate Indian director, for his debut film, The Warrior.

DIED: Ramesh Pawar, 62, veteran Marathi theatre personality.

CONFERRED: The Deshikottama, the highest degree of Visva Bharati,
on sarod player Amjad Ali Khan and former director of the
Indian Statistical Institute C.R. Rao.

ELECTED: Kripal Singh, president, Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee.

DIED: M.S. Menon, 94, former chief justice of the Kerala High Court.

EXTENDED: President's rule, in Manipur, by six months.

DIED: Vishnu Datt, 75 BJP MP from Jammu.

REMOVED: Ketan Desai, president, Medical Council of India, on corruption charges.