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| ONE FROM THE FAMILY ALBUM: This is just half
of the Jhalani household |
Sundays at
the Jhalani House in Delhi's Civil Lines are reserved for cricket. And,
no, they don't have to look yonder to put together a Cricket XI. Their
in-house team is already spilling over with sporty men-not necessarily
20-somethings-who take fielding positions on the 30 ft by 50 ft concrete
surface (it's used as a parking lot otherwise for 20-odd "family"
cars). At their Lord's, as the sun filters through the labyrinthine, creeper-covered
trellis, the batsman takes position, ready to face a bowler who relies
more on intimidation than sheer pace. The line is good, so is the responding
stroke. But there is no running between the wicket. That's rule No. 1
of the game. There are no LBWs either, no stumpings, no over-arm bowling
and no running late on coughing up the monthly subscription of Rs 100
that is used to buy cricket paraphernalia. And all contentious issues
are to be argued with the highest authority, quite literally: the umpire
who looks more like a hunter in khakis and sports shoes and is lodged
on a machaan on a strategically branched neem tree. But this is serious
business, as serious as the family business that binds the 70-odd Jhalani
household members, part of a breed whose days are numbered-the Great Indian
Joint Family.
Five generations of the Jhalanis-21 family units in all-live together,
play together, pray together, celebrate together, make money together
and they're not even crabby-an aberration in the time of dink living.
For them nuclear just means having a blast. Perhaps, even Lala Banarasi
Das-he established the famous Chawri Bazar in Old Delhi when he set up
engineering workshops there-did not foresee generations of his progeny
getting entrenched in the 2,900 sq yard of prime land and the colonial
bungalow he bought for his 10-member family in 1942. In the 1960s, the
bungalow was demolished and his seven sons built a seven-apartment block
with seven kitchens, connected by bricks and business.
"Our forefathers started selling steel nails in 1857," says
Rajesh, 49, one of Das' 13 grandsons. That laid the foundation for a flourishing
foray into business-the most successful of them being manufacturing hand
tools-and the raison d'etre of their bonding. "As long as the business
is intact or the importance of the Jhalani house location is not diluted,
we will continue to live as a unit," says Rajesh matter-of-factly.
Perhaps this pragmatic approach to co-existence is the reason why family
members have withstood the lure of venturing out on their own. Even those
like Amit, 35, another third generation inhabitant of Jhalani House, who
chose to shift to Gurgaon when he set up a furniture business there, returned
like the prodigal son nine months later, wife and child in tow. "Here,
there is always someone to look after the child," says Amit's wife
Leena.
So under one roof a photographer, painter, interior decorator, trader,
exporter continue to find their muse, and convenience. And also not miss
out on children's melas at any of the three manicured lawns, rangoli competitions
during Diwali, the ritualistic cricket matches and the Jhalani ladies'
kitty parties. Children, in all 11 boys and eight girls, don't look beyond
their boundary wall for company-never mind that four-year-old Vinayak
is "relatively speaking" an uncle of Navya, his senior by a
year. The Indian tradition of respect for elders also ensures they have
company in old age. Kailash, Das' eldest son is the oldest at 74; the
youngest is seven months old-and there's no dearth of caretakers for both
of them.
"The best times we had were when Doordarshan ruled the tube. The
tv room was like a theatre with rows of seats," reminiscences Shalini,
45, wife of Rajesh. Now the infusion of cable channels has made their
pursuit redundant; everyone has a TV set in their bedroom. So there's
no sitting together to watch even Ekta Kapoor's twisty family dramas of
spiteful mothers-in-law and scheming daughters-in-law.
For a family that only married within their caste, intercommunity marriages
are no longer a taboo. But perhaps, in the six decades of staying together,
nothing has changed more than the lifestyle of the women in the Jhalani
household-apart from the fact that any new bride takes up to six months
to identify family members and start calling them by their monikers. Shalini's
mother-in-law never walked around without the ghunghat. But she lets her
20-year-old daughter, Smriti, don peasant top with flares and organise
dance parties, replete with disco lights and DJs. A few of them are building
careers for themselves too. Leena, 31, was the first women in the family
to work outside home. "You can come to learn about changing lifestyle
trends," says Rajesh. "Take a peep into the 19th century and
slowly get back to the 21st." The Jhalanis themselves do that occasionally
through slide shows, family albums or in conversation. It lights the hearth
in their metaphorical house.
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