Bored and fatigued with the big noise, the big expectations, the diminishing returns of big money and the stifling pollution that choke the festival of lights, people are looking beyond the big bang. Amidst the abundant festivity, the lights and the gifts, there is conscious and evident change in the way people are making efforts to quieten, simplify and individualise Diwali. Within tradition, there is conservation. Within revelry, there is sobriety.

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"On Diwali, I consciously divert my children's attention to the darkness in the lives of poor children," says Delhi-based Sushmita Mukherjee, 42, who rejects the self-gratification of Diwali celebrations. Mukherjee isn't alone in lighting up her children's consciences with social responsibilities. Others too have redefined the word "celebration". "I have never been into puja-paath and I celebrate Diwali quietly with family and dear friends by lighting diyas," adds one-time beauty queen Naina Balsaver, now a jewellery designer. And this one for Goddess Laxmi. "I don't think it is a festival to welcome wealth," says nutritionist Himanshu Kapoor. "It is about spirituality and being with the family."

Family First In tune with the austere mood, many prefer to make the festival of lights an occasion for family bonding. Says nutritionist Himanshu Kapoor: "We don't do lavish parties, crackers or card sessions any more. Diwali today is about spirituality and being with the family."

"It's a thanksgiving, a time to light a lamp within." Poonam Malhotra, owner of bookshop Full Circle

Commercialisation and mindless revelry had made Diwali a festival of deafening noise and one-upmanship, an excuse for vulgar conspicuous consumption. Gifts became bigger than the people who exchanged them, pujas became occasions to announce bank balances, women wore their husband's material success in zardozi saris and gold jewellery, and, as this private festival turned into an ostentatious public affair, "more" became the mantra in the aartis people chanted. More spending, more gambling, a time to buy and sell favours. Then this festival of gold had a free fall. Pollution, noise, respiratory illnesses, a nervous competitive edge in relationships because of expensive gifts and the rigours of ritualism. Parents keen to pass on the relevance of Diwali to children found that money was doing all the talking. Something had to give.

It did. Sure, there still are people who get 15 lavish outfits designed for 15 Diwali parties and others who blow more than a few lakhs in gambling orgies. But the silver lining in this cloud is the choice of those who now opt for a cheaper Diwali. Says Devinder Singh Kapur, 56, a Delhi businessman: "Excessive commercialisation brings chaos and takes away peace. Personally, I keep aside the money for better use."

No to Crackers The anti-cracker campaign that started a few years back brought a sobering effect. Schools like DPS, Noida still crusade against crackers and children make a pledge to help the poor.

As people make efforts to separate spirituality from ritualism, home pujas have become simpler affairs and are seen as mediums to spread positive energy. Besides that, personal interpretations of the relevance of Diwali show reflective wisdom. Some celebrate the day by lighting up the lives of the poor through money and gifts and also make it a point to buy Diwali stuff from places where the proceeds will go to charity. Still others immerse themselves into introspective questioning to come up with "new responses for the new year" that Diwali heralds. "I treat it as thanksgiving and to light a lamp within," says Poonam Malhotra, owner of the Delhi-based bookshop Full Circle. This new script has many writers. "We change as people, so our interpretation of festivals also changes," says Sharmila Dalmia, founder member of Shiksha India, an NGO. "I used to think Diwali was a time to have fun and celebrate but now I am able to find more meaning into it," says Dalmia who looks at Diwali as a time for bonding with family and friends.

Changes in the combos of family structures and sizes is a cornerstone of this saga. Families are smaller, nuclear, thousands of people who live away from their homes consider friends as family. Says Kankana Das, a single girl who works as head of the USA desk at Delhi's Confederation of Indian Industry (CII): "I feel strongly about the sanctity of the festival but I would use the time to meet friends."

Breaking with Traditions Rituals don't captivate anymore. "I can be a participant in a puja done by my family, but not the prime doer," says gift shop owner Vinita Nath. Like many other urban women she too doesn't wear heavy, traditional jewellery and zari outfits for Diwali. Simple is festive.

Besides this strong sense of individuality, other trends too are visible. One being celebrating Diwali away from home, on holiday, a choice that suggests a polarity to ancient tradition, where homes were supposed to be cleaned, painted and all doors left open for Goddess Laxmi to take an indulgent walk inside. Across the country, hotels report a surge in occupancy during the festival including on Diwali day. Anirban Sengupta, head, sales and marketing of The Leela, Goa, says, "Over the years, our occupancy rates have grown during Diwali and this year we have 100 per cent occupancy on Diwali."

Writer Shobhaa De fondly remembers the time when she would, along with her mother, painstakingly plan and prepare Diwali sweets. "Today I buy mine from Satish Ladoos," she says, adding: "I feel sad at the passing away of an era when I see the crass commercialisation of a beautiful festival." Theatre and film person Lillette Dubey has similar sentiments. "Diwali has lost its flavour. The fun has gone out of it."

Fun, say others, is what you make of it. Some families have turned festivals into assimilated experience where there is some tradition and a lot of freedom. "I don't remember the Laxmi puja by heart but I have a book of prayers which has all the Sanskrit shlokas along with an English translation. I often recite from that," says Himanshu Kapoor. Here is the catch but it is a revealing one. Check out the music market. Catering to the needs of the ritualistically challenged, music companies have recorded all the pujas, aartis and shlokas on tape and CDs. These include Laxmi pujan, Navratri paths and even Karvachauth kathas. Thoughtfully accompanied by little red books in English that explain in detail the relevance of painting the house before Diwali, that of dipping Goddess Laxmi's idols in oil, how to decorate a puja thali and how to worship which god. Some books also carry a comprehensive shopping guide on things needed for Diwali puja. Quick ways to usher the pandit out of life. "These sell a lot, because people have become conscious that they have forgotten the details of ritualism and want to refresh their memories and teach their children some," says Malhotra, whose shop also has New-Age gifts and music counters.

A little rewind. The first sign of behavioural shift in Diwali celebrations came when the anti-cracker campaign brought a sobering effect few years back. Many schools in big cities took up a crusade for health and safety issues that the bursting of crackers affected. "The sentiments of children changed the face of Diwali," says Renu Saxena, vice-principal of Delhi Public School, Noida. "It is the biggest success story of how festivals can be reinterpreted in society."

Similarly, many urban women have opted out of traditional wear and heavy gold jewellery during Diwali. Says Das: "A pair of trousers is fine for me and if I were back in Kolkata, I would perhaps wear a salwar-kurta." The change in dressing styles is noticeable even when it comes to ostentatious spending. "Those who splurge on clothes during Diwali now choose subtle and trendy attires instead of those in loud colours and designs," says NIFT fashion expert and choreographer Harmeet Bajaj.

Down the centuries, Diwali culture took many walks. In Valmiki's Ramayana, sage Vashist, mentor to Ram, taught him the golden truth of austerity that resulted in courage, confidence and power. It is said that Lord Ram reminded the joyous citizens of Ayodhya when they revelled in his victory over Ravana and the triumph of good over evil to celebrate but with austerity. But down the ages as the festival of lights was lighted with lamps of money, austerity was what got the biggest knock. Now, Goddess Laxmi may want to rethink her portfolio of wealth.

-with Nidhi Taparia Rathi