RESPONDENTS' PROFILE
Nearly 2,305 women belonging to the middle and upper-middle class (sec A and sec B) were interviewed across 10 cities. They belonged to three age groups: 19-24 years, 25-34 years and 35-50 years and included unmarried, married and divorced/separated women. Some questions were asked only to those women who said they had had sex (1,814). Questions on extramarital sex were put only to those who said they had had relationships outside marriage (119). Two-thirds of the respondents were graduates/postgraduates; the rest were educated till senior or higher secondary. Almost all respondents owned a colour TV, four-fifths owned a house, while 15 per cent owned a mobile phone and a quarter drove a vehicle.

PREVIOUS SURVEYS
In 1978, a survey conducted by The Social Research Unit of the Indian Market Research Bureau for India Today, polled 604 college students in Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai and Kolkata. Two-thirds of the students found premarital sex unacceptable. A staggering 81 per cent said the girls who lost their virginity before marriage had "bad reputations". Contrary to the India Today-AC Nielsen ORG-MARG survey of 2003, Delhi was the most conservative in 1978 where only 31 per cent students admitted to petting compared to Kolkata where 76 per cent claimed to have done the same. In Chennai, only 11 per cent admitted to premarital sex.

In 1982, a Chennai survey on sexuality among 9,000 students in nine colleges found that 52.4 per cent students had had premarital sex.

In 1994, an India Today-MARG survey among 1,365 undergraduates from eight cities found that 18 per cent girls accepted premarital sex, 15 per cent didn't mind using sex appeal to get ahead and 34 per cent were amenable to having a fling even while going steady.

In 1996, an Indian Council of Medical Research survey studied sexual behaviour of 5,000 adolescents in the 10-14 years age group in six Indian states. It concluded that both premarital sex and teenage pregnancies were rapidly growing trends.

ANALYSIS

Dr Madhu Sarin,
Psychoanalyst

INTIMATE MASKS

It has always been hard to puzzle out Indian attitudes on sexuality. Indians are affectionate and sensual, though their philosophical aspirations tend to valourise asceticism and renunciation. So it isn't surprising that the India Today-AC Nielsen ORG-MARG survey paints women as conservative and cautious.

In traditional cultures, much that is socially taboo is implicitly accepted as long as it is not explicit. Particularly sexuality. As long as social facade and the traditional family structure-usually a heterosexual marriage with one male child-is maintained, a blind eye is turned towards other sexual liaisons. The taboo is not on sexual conduct but on "outing" it, which may involve a loss of face or threaten the stability of accepted social arrangements. In such cultures, women are the safekeepers of traditions and values, resulting in the strict regulation and control of women's sexuality to maintain family honour and ensure legitimacy of progeny.

So no matter how "emancipated" today's women are, they will experience some conflict between their new desires and previously internalised social expectations. To engage in or talk openly about their sexuality would generate a sense of vulnerability. This is clearly reflected in the survey. On the one hand, the frankness that some women show reflects a newfound sense of power and confidence. For some, it could be a form of exhibitionism to shock and titillate. Or, it could be an attempt to gain attention, a kind of Page 3 prestige. On the other hand, it should be expected that such answers would be tempered with some anxiety about a potential backlash (internally), which may lead to a measure of caution or prudence in responses.

Sexuality is always framed by intense fantasies which often get merged with factual narratives. This leads to distortions in surveys which reflect some compromise between the self-image and their own fantasies and desires. For instance, 22 per cent of women surveyed associate masturbation with an image of being out of control. This is a common fantasy in India.

Sexuality is a part of a person's experience from birth. The way a mother handles a baby determines the capacity for sexual excitement. In India, babies are handled for much longer than in other cultures. This leads to a stimulation of all kinds of sensuality, including sexuality. But our joint family system promotes family solidarity over the conjugal relationship. This inhibits the expression of sexual fulfilment in marriage, resulting in sexual repression. Sons and mothers especially have a close relationship, which is overly eroticised because of the frustration many women feel in their conjugal relationship. This may lead to the "internal mother" threatening the son's sense of self and may spill over to other women in his life, making him inhibited. This creates a vicious cycle of sexually-inhibited husbands and sexually-frustrated wives.

Although there are many exceptions, a stereotype governs men and women when it comes to erotic desire and emotional commitment. Men like to play the field and have an easier time expressing their sexual desires, while women find it easier to make long-term, monogamous commitments. Since girls shift their passionate attachment from mother to father, they develop a better capacity to develop a deep relationship with an admired and more distant loved one. This promotes their capability for commitment in sexual and emotional life. Keeping this in mind, it is interesting to note some of the newer nuances in this survey. Many women seem to be thinking out of the stereotype. They say that sexual pleasure, orgasms, frequent and non-traditional sex are all important. Also, a fairly large proportion say their husbands are sensitive to their sexual needs and that they are not bored by sex in marriage. It could mean a variety of things.

Possibly, because of changes in the way women perceive themselves and the adaptation made by their husbands, they ask for and enjoy greater sexual satisfaction. Or it may mean that they regard sex as a significant but not critical part of marriage-that they are not terribly excited by sex, but not bored by it either. A selective survey will not answer all these questions.