Traffic jams, bhangra pop, unending merrymaking. That is what marriages mean to most people in urban India. But at the core of the din and the delight is a solemn truth: marriages involve complex human relationships and delicate negotiations which balance multiple identities and conflicting needs. This is an institution, which in India, still forms the basis of all family life, despite the transformation effected by widespread globalisation and economic liberalisation.

PICTURE SPEAK

Our December 2001 cover on marriages in India

Like much else in India, it has not only survived but thrived. The institution of arranged marriage has become more liberal, relaxed and oriented towards technology. Matchmaking has become an efficient service thanks to emerging professions-marriage counsellors, legal advisers, sex therapists, wedding website directors and wedding planners. These have replaced the elderly relative, the family retainer, even the long-time business friend. In small towns, as well as big, marriage managers are replacing the pandits, the Internet has made way for the relative-as-broker, the chai tray has given way to a meeting at Barista and personalised ads are slowly overtaking those demanding homely homemakers.

The rearranged marriage has brought with it rearranged roles. Candid accounts of medical history are being asked for-and provided. Working women, once considered inadequate mothers, are now seen as additional income earners. Second marriages, once inconceivable, are now enduring options. US Green Card holders, once considered the acme of aspiration, have lost their lustre. Caste and religion have lost their significance and premarital dating is now quite the norm.

There is greater democracy in the family, reflecting a more flexible society. Women are playing a more active role in choosing their life partners, standing shoulder to shoulder with their parents. The marriage bazaar-pegged at Rs 5,000 crore by India Today's cover story in December 2001-has grown with the rise of additional services and technological innovations.

It is a mix of East and West and it is an almost perfect match. Assistant Editor Shefalee Vasudev who researched the story says, "The way in which the arranged marriage is moving towards a more participatory process is a trend that is interesting to watch."

With the wedding season round the corner, partner suitability tests may well replace astrological compatibility. Truly, times are a changing.

(Aroon Purie)

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