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India Today
    CURRENT ISSUE MAY 30, 2005
 
   INDIASCOPE

   HORS D'OEUVRES
 

Maths and Marriage

Can mathematics save your marriage? Actually it's not that bizarre or unscientific. A renowned psychologist has developed a mathematical model to predict whether a marriage will work or not. According to the study, the most important numbers in a relationship are: five to one. That is the ratio of positive interactions to negative ones that predict whether a marriage will last or become another divorce statistic. The model has been created by psychologist John Gottman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. His mathematical model of relationships is the result of 20 years of research based on "the study of the body and the face and voice and emotion in relationships". Gottman's model has registered 90 per cent accuracy in terms of couples he has observed and predictions about their marriage lasting. In his model, certain expressions of emotion carry a disproportionate amount of emotional weight. Expressions of contempt register -4. Displays of disgust score -3, while constant complaining about your spouse scores -1. A display of affection, on the other hand-a smile of sympathy or a touch-registers +4. A crucial predictor of divorce is a man's unwillingness to be influenced by his wife's suggestions or blindness to her emotional needs.

Gottman's study is like a BSE Index for marital survival. He found that marriages fall into the danger zone when the ratio of positive interactions dips below five to one. His research throws up some interesting findings. It is not, he says, that you can't argue with your spouse. But the couples that make it deliver positive emotional messages even when they fight. A couple may be arguing, but they are also laughing and teasing and there are signs of affection because they have made emotional connections. Some couples are "volatile"-they routinely unleash anger at one another but they offset that with doses of warm feelings. Such couples tend to be stable and successful because they can turn a difficult conversation in a positive direction with jokes, soothing comments or changing the subject when things are too hot. Other couples make hurtful comments even when their partner is trying to be positive or get into the habit of complaining without realising its impact on a marriage. How to keep a marriage in the positive zone differs from culture to culture but the bottom line is that you don't have to be a mathematical genius to have a happy marriage. Every couple can write their own positive equation.

 

 

CURRENT ISSUE
MAY 30, 2005
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COVER STORY

SINGLE & UNSAFE

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Much Left to be Done

Anniversary Blues
The Sign Of Things To Come

Tedious Road To Justice
No Smart Talk Here
Equal Partners

Family Fortune
The IPO That Isn't An IPO
Illusory Public Offering
Healthy Development
Will The Party Last?
Aspire And Afford
Hot Property

Seat of Contention

Not Over the Hump

No Trials, No Errors

Feat Beneath The Ground

The Great Scape

Noble House

Shourie's Axis of Evil

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