It looks as if women in India have come a long way but then there are also rapes happening every day, rapists are being allowed to go scot-free, minors are being sexually assaulted and because of lack of information a mother can pass an HIV infection to her child while breast-feeding. The modern Indian woman is empowered but like the country where she lives, not completely so. Modern women do have it easier than their predecessors who had to constantly kill their own aspirations and focus on their husbands, children and home. But there is a greater degree of sexualisation which is also happening because of the explosion of media. Gossip seems to be seamlessly blending with facts now. The media knows that the film industry gives it the highest TRPs, so everything is fair game, from an actor's purported mms tape to a star wife's accident. All this while the judicial system is just sitting on the sidelines.

And at the end of the day who suffers? It is the woman. They have to constantly justify themselves even today. No matter who they are. Look at my case: I've spent 10 years in the profession, but there's no end to attempts to tarnish my image. It could be some fake image of someone in a shower or some supposed tape conversation. Even among animals, the female is the better looking of the species. She is an object of desire. And while as a woman it feels good to be appreciated, like every good thing, it has a dark side. Not only do people regard you as an airhead, but they also tend to be demeaning in their attitude.

Ironically even in this era of objectification of women, there is a lot more freedom for women as far as sexual experimentation is concerned. People are living in to check each other out. The urban divorce rate is higher than ever. For women, this is good and bad. They are still trapped in traditional expectations from them: of taking care of their husband, their children and their work. But they also now have to conform to new, sometimes western, cultural stereotypes of beauty, no matter what.

I think the most important thing for young women of today is education. That's what gives them a career. To me it means self-esteem and economic independence. Yet it's not as if a career is the be-all and end-all of my life. Everything is important and has its own separate compartment: family, relationships, career. It is tough for women because we are intrinsically nurturing creatures, so the responsibility of a career is like a double jeopardy. We are blessed, of course, that we have a huge support system unlike in the West where I feel women are losing the essence of femininity and are becoming hard, tough.

When I think of my life, I suppose I am happy. I have managed to live life on my own terms and compartmentalise well. Still I suppose all of us who have grown up with the conditioning of marriage as an eventuality will always feel something is missing.

(As told to Kaveree Bamzai.)

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