Nov 23, 1998

Dilip Bobb

Quick. Here's a trick question that could well come up on Mastermind. Can you recall some of yesterday's headlines? Actually, it's easier said than read. They are pretty much the same as the headlines you saw last year. Or the year before. Or even five years ago. Which really confirms the popular adage that the more things change, the more they remain the same. Here are some examples to prove the lack of originality among headline makers.

Indo-Pakistan Talks Fail: A perennial favourite among diplomatic correspondents, sub-editors and proofreaders. Since it features so often you can use it without even waiting for the meeting to end and the official spokesperson to announce that there's a spoke in the wheel. As predictable in content and conclusion as the fate of the Titanic, it only proves the existence of the abominable no-man.

Politician-Criminal Nexus Exposed: If there was a rival for the choice of headline which has wasted the most amount of newsprint, this could well be in the running. By hook or by crook, it seems to have figured as daily newspaper fare for decades. Of course, much has changed since criminals started contesting, and winning, elections, thereby doing away with the need for a nexus. But there are enough Romesh Sharma clones to keep everyone in business, including newspaper hawkers.

Coalition Partner Threatens Pull-Out: Admittedly of more recent vintage (1977 was a good year), the arrival of coalition politics and frequent departures have established another favourite candidate for headline-headache. Even the slogans haven't changed, only the emphasis and the numbers. The National Front proudly boasted it was a chariot pulled by seven horses. Sonia Gandhi attacks the BJP for being a chariot pulled by 18 equine partners. Earlier we had Devi Lal and Chautala. Now we have Jayalalitha and Mamata. In headline-speak, a prime example of equal opportunity.

Rebel Candidates Threaten Party's Chances: No need to qualify which party since, unlike the CTBT, it is non-discriminatory in nature. With elections increasing in frequency and voters becoming eligible for frequent-flyer programmes, this has become a standard refrain -- with the party asking them to refrain and the rebels refusing to do so. In fact, there are now so many rebels around that they could form a majority government of their own. That would, in itself, represent a major change from newspaper headlines of the recent past.

Cabinet Expansion Next Week: Another legacy of minority governments, the promise of a cabinet expansion was originally intended to accommodate allied representatives in ministerial bungalows. The anouncement became even more necessary when allies included rival parties from the same state. Now it's becoming an infernal issue, thanks to Sahib Singh and his refusal to join the ranks of the privileged instead of standing in a queue waiting for a DTC bus. With more allies up in arms over the way prices are going up, the next cabinet expansion announcement is due very shortly. Watch this space.

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